Monday, December 06, 2004

Slacking

Sum total of all work done towards essays over the last weekend = 0

I guess the absolute relief I felt at the conclusion of the Wharton saga has left me feeling extremely mellow. Can't seem to summon up the drive and energy I usually count on to get my through the long hours of introspection - writing essays. But for this I can lay partial blame on my wife, who having had to share me with the MBA application process, in addition to work and other commitments, finally decided to monopolize my time, so I spent a very relaxing weekend carrying packages and following her from store to store while she got her (our) Christmas shopping done. My reward for not complaining about the expedition Gary Larson as a stocking stuffer! :) Absolutely the most brilliant mind every born with a sense of humor to die for. This is actually a boxed set of his complete works that have ever appeared in print. Something Larson refers to as a hernia-giver, the books are so huge and heavy that you CANNOT lie on your back while you read it.

I read a couple of very interesting posts/emails that has given me much food for thought. One of which was DaRaverLA's post on his Wharton interview (which despite his misgivings I am sure he has done well at) and the second was an email I received from a friend from school, who I had lost touch with until recently. Both the above mentioned items caused me to reflect back upon both my interview and essays that I submitted for Wharton. Looking at my interview with hindsight, I realized that I had completely monopolized the conversation and hadn't addressed any situations where I showed leadership / teamwork / personal skills / Extra-curricular activities / ways I would contribute to Wharton, etc. You get the picture. All I had used the interview for was to establish my passion towards my goals and the logical progression of my career path. After reading DaRaverLA's post, it struck me hard and fast that I had blown it! I had wasted my best opportunity to make a case for myself. I left myself open to being a 2 dimensional application without a third dimension to me. Believe me I kicked myself hard over this. Despite all my interview practice, despite all my confidence in myself and my story, I blew it. But at this stage in the game, it doesn't really bother me that much other than make me want to kick myself. I realize there is nothing I can do to change the situation and the result will be out in three weeks for which I wait with baited breath.

Coming to the matter of the email I received, without breaking the confidentiality of the email, it dealt basically with my friend's life from graduation till date during which, a company was established, saw huge success, saw bigger losses, with the company going in receivership, a struggle to convince the bank to release funds based upon past success, inability to pay employee's, the problems associated with maintaining staff one can't afford to pay and dealing with their behavior without means to incentivice or discipline them. The struggle to make a what seemed like a successful pitch but failing due to an inability to pay the bank manager a bribe to complete the process. The destruction of all dreams for the future and sinking to a level where it was essential to sell their house to raise collateral.

But interwoven through the entire story was this feeling of optimism, this struggle to innovate, an unshakable feeling of ultimate victory and unshakable goals. This long email wasn't written to me as an essay or anything, just conversational with a here is what I have been doing since I spoke to you last. Whatever be its premise, it left me shaken and completely stirred. THIS I felt was possibly better than any essay I had written. This was more poignant, expressed more emotion, covered the entire gamut of life's ups and downs, shaped a person's philosophy of life. I was watching a movie with my wife, idly scanning through email when this came in and both of us stopped watching television and were lost in the story.

I definitely got the impression that if I were ever to read an essay like this, I would do everything in my power to get this person to class to share their deep experience of the business world. It was a human interest story at its best. This is when I understood what those 5% of applicants write that gets them into every school they apply too, and why my essays that I was so proud off in the past doesn't even hold a candle to such stories. I wouldn't admit me with my drab bereft of emotion essays as compared to these gems.

Definitely a humbling moment in my life. I am now that much more aware of my self than before.

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